We have a slight problem with the alleyway outside the flat. Being just off the main street – and lower than street level – our ‘back passage’ makes the ideal place for Brixton’s prostitutes to ply their wares. We can tell from the constant trail of used condoms in the gravel.
There are two positives that I can ascertain from this situation:
Firstly, it is reassuring to know that even the skankiest of prostitutes (and Brixton has some munters walking the strip) uses protection.
Secondly, I admire their resourcefulness. In the current financial climate, we’re all trying to reduce our overheads, and their innovative cutting back on rent scheme warrants merit.
However, as a resident, you are always left wondering if you shall someday have to confront a copulating crackwhore and her client(s) when you enter or leave the house late at night. Plus, there are quite a few condoms to clean up.
We now have three anti-crackwhore measures. Firstly, we installed a gate. This worked from an anti-prostitute point of view, but we also stopped getting mail. So we had to leave the gate open – and effectively welcome back the women of the night.
Secondly, we installed a light with a motion detector, so that any movement would trigger a burst of light the whole way down the alley. But to no avail. Maybe they do it without motion these days. Or maybe the light just helps. It’s certainly easier to find our keyhole now…
The latest anti-crackwhore measure is to make the alleyway a tad perplexing. Outside the door we have a black-and-white 1912 print of a family who have returned from a fox hunt, with the message ‘Like Father, Like Son’ printed underneath.
If that doesn’t stop them, nothing will…
N.B. – I now live in a different flat. Higher up the hill = no crackwhores.